one two three fourrrrnication!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
did i walk over a car last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
