Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So vagazzling was a success
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
