where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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