She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
