if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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