The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
