I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
