I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The adults are the big ones right?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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