I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
