if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
