Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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