i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.