Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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