He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
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