party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Randomize
