Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
