I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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