So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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