she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
