He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
