I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just invented taco cereal.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
