If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
