you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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