I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
