My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
