the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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