you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
