You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
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we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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