I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
