You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
