i love accidental penises.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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