so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
