but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize