Will you blow on my dice?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
