Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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