Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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