I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Randomize
