he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
