You made me cry and you don't even care
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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