I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize