I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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