At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
