I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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