Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
