Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
