Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
