Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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