i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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