girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
