He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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