Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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