Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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