guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
