They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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