I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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