at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
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Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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