is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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