Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
