I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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