clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
