i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It's Friday. Sex?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
