Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My bed smells like the plague
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
